Monday, 26 March 2007


It has come to my attention that one of my numerous reader (or maybe i am up to more than 1, now) has never seen snow, so it falls to me to describe it for her.

Each unique flake appears like a jagged circular blade, as if every one were designed to cut a different variety of timber / gemstone. Their menacing edges are matched only by the patterns of curious holes throughout their structures, which causes one to ponder what sinister motives had inspired their creators, the evil clouds.

On leaving their floating platforms of doom, up in the grey yonder, they dive and swirl inexorably downwards, hoping for an unlucky victim to break their deadly fall. In order to be more destructive, they form alliances, clustering together into unstoppable agglomerations. Many fail in their attack runs. Billions perish on the cold, hard earth, but some fateful few smack, sharply, into an unlucky victim, causing an unusual stinging sensation which, cumulatively, can build up into quite the irritation.

When their carcasses lie thickly strewn on the ground, they can be collected together, and with pressure, form an infinitely larger and more compact, spherical, vector of doom. Young people often reenect wars using such an arsenal; anachronistically, of course, since snowballs are a modern invention, just like the stalwart Snow Soldier (ironically referred to by the french as 'Bonhommes de neige').

My advice would be to remain, at all times, at least fifty feet from such frozen precipitation.


aria said...

I read it with a huge grin on my face .. hehe .. it was a delightful read ..
thank you .. I’ve assumed you were referring to me .. in the first line .. :D
How very kind of you to describe snow .. and that too in sucha way that I feel - I haven’t missed much in life. I would like to believe.. it is at once .. funny and serious .. & so thankfully . I'm more than 50 feet away from anything even remotely closer to a frozen precipitation .. lol

Equivocationalist said...

of course it was for your benefit; and i'm glad you found it informative. snow gets a lot of good press in the temperate latitudes, but people forget the dangers it poses. i had to look up the title; i love that there are words for such things.